What attributes attracted you to definitely your ADHD companion? That has been a concern during my ADHD Spouse Survey, the most comprehensive browse up until now towards ADHD and you will dating. We’ll look at the responses in this post.

Basic, rolklore continues regarding your form of people interested in grownups which have ADHD to own sexual relationships-and you can the other way around. Never ever mind you to on U.S. by yourself, adults with a few amount of ADHD count from 10 so you can 31 million. Quite simply, they aren’t clones. Neither is the mates.

1. “Opposites Appeal”: People with ADHD are keen on “organized” and you can joyless professionals bees that will keep the teaches running to possess the they both and you can whom in turn is actually interested in their free-saturated ADHD lover’s spontaneity and you will sense of fun.
2. “Such as for instance Draws Such as for instance”: People with ADHD are interested in other people having ADHD because the it inherently see one another more any “Muggle” you may.

These stereotypes are completely contradictory. Yet ,, they echoed with equivalent certitude through the ADHD neighborhood whenever i are researching my first book-whilst still being now. Sure, partners installing each other stereotypes showed up in my local an internet-based discussion groups. Yet ,, between both of these extremes put new teeming types of individual some one and their relationships.

Whenever i need to say, “Those with ADHD are like any kind of individuals, only way more.” And exact same is true for matchmaking in which one or one another couples enjoys ADHD: It have trouble with an identical problems that challenge every people, just much more.

Design the question

How-to test this type of stereotypes? Design a concern ended up problematic when making my personal ADHD Spouse Questionnaire. We settled towards the a very reduce “angling trip.”

An element of the limitation: Questionnaire respondents didn’t include the ADHD lovers, just amolatina the lovers off grownups which have ADHD (while some plus had ADHD by themselves). Very, this new participants guessed otherwise replied according to what they had gleaned from their ADHD lover.

Along with, new characteristics We listed were as an alternative arbitrary. And, participants weren’t determining anywhere between characteristics that have been present and you will qualities one to have been attractive.

However, unique look has to start someplace. I compensated to the a couple of questions, utilizing the same a number of attributes for each matter:

1. Which of ADHD Partner’s qualities lured your? (Check All that use and/otherwise include any which aren’t detailed.)
2. And therefore of attributes are you willing to believe drawn their ADHD mate to you personally? (Consider All of that use and you will/or include people that aren’t listed.)

Contrasting the brand new Characteristics

Delight sustain beside me. It’s a little challenging to grasp at first. But by contrasting the two groups of analysis hand and hand, we can find out if an image is provided. That is, are a few collective “personality” characteristics more prevalent on the ADHD companion (this new adult having ADHD) or even the most other mate (new respondent)?

step 1. And this Traits Lured One Your ADHD Lover?

Because of it earliest chart, We arranged by this first matter, arranged of large so you’re able to lower: “And therefore of your ADHD Partner’s qualities drawn you?”

Reddish represents the newest respondent’s ADHD Partner’s traits, the ones that the fresh questionnaire respondent found very attractive. It appears as though the brand new five huge draws are:

1. Spontaneous; enjoyable to get having: that it attribute was depicted nearly doubly during the ADHD partners like in participants yet still slightly contained in the latest participants
2. Humorous; cheerful: some a great deal more portrayed from inside the ADHD couples
3. Interesting; creative, “different”: on a third way more depicted in the ADHD lovers
4. Attractive; sexy: on equivalent, that have respondents get on their own just a little more attractive and slutty than just her ADHD partners (sure, bias is a problem here…as i told you…”angling expedition”).

1. Good money director: grand difference truth be told there between respondents and you can ADHD partners